Dream – Can’t find them

From one of my recurrent dreams (there are too many)

Living in a circular house

Lots of closets

Convergent identical hallways

Plethora of bedrooms (all with closets)

The cast in each room rotates

All family, friends and acquaintances.



Late, misguided as usual

yesterday was your birthday my son. thought about you all day. sent you a silly movie for your birthday. it arrives tomorrow. 

late, misguided, as usual.

your high school graduation. i was there, filming your class walk onto the field. the whole time looking for you. i didn’t see you. it wasn’t until reviewing the footage, i saw you, smiling at me…until you realized my mistake.

late, misguided, as usual.


Totaled the car pt 1

Front end

Front end

Kiah and Miles were laughing about something we’ve already forgotten.

“Kiah, please kill Siri, I don’t need her directions anymore”




(in the diamond lane <91 east>, weds before Thanksgiving, 730ish)


Dave walks towards the slightly damaged car in front of him

Me: “Are you guys okay?”

Mark: “I think so, just shaken up”

Mark: “Can I take a picture  of your insurance card?”

Me: “Here”

Mark: “Can I take a picture or your license?”

Me: “Here”

Mark: “Should we call the police?”

Me: “No airbag deployment, they probably won’t come out.”

Mark: “Will you say it’s your fault?”

Me: “umm…I rear ended you..it’s pretty clear it’s my fault.”

(he’s freaking a little, but… we were stopped in the diamond lane at rush hour the day before Thanksgiving)



dreams 111317

Fell asleep 8ish

Woke up 12ish

read news, FB, more news

2ish tried drifting back to slumber. 

on and off

on dream:

landing on a highway from the sky,

driving incredibly fast on 4-lane road,

little to no control,

crash imminent.

awoke heart pounding.

{breathe, breathe slower}

on dream2:

woke up in becky’s house,

all her girls are there,

{thrilled, but surprised, nobody lives there anymore.}

ask time — 6:30am – IM LATE!

awoke anxious.

on dream3:


a problem looming.

i solve it.



J vs H 01

You are an adept high functioning alcoholic

You are able to maintain

You’ve been able to cover, so far

You’ve also said you could abstain.


Convinced many  (Mr. H is writing this, just so you know)



Ammi greb

Ammi Greb you bastard

Looking at me like you care

Staring at me like A Hog

Waiting for a ..

Waiting, wait

i’d like to say that today was different, but it was like any other day. like every other day. but it was different, just the same.

When the canoodles start calling you by name, you know there’s a problem. 

when the problems start canoodling, it’s even better.

the view from down here is amazing.

the amazing from here is down.

The down from amazing is here

here is down amazing


I’m skin tone white


I’m skin-tone white. 

Wasn’t apprised of that til around 3rd grade.

My house growing up was filled with jazz musicians.

Never taught skin tone was a factor.

Learned it in school though. 

Learned that I was part of the white club.

ignorance and fear.  two prerequisites of the white club. 

White folk: deny you’ve heard n-word jokes from white brethren. 

Did you laugh? I know you did (at least sometimes), I was there. 



i guess i’m just trying to figure out why I have to pay.

i didn’t cheat, i didn’t beat, i didn’t abuse

i didn’t leave..

i did provide support. emotional, financial


woke up one morning to an empty house. it was a sunday (not necessarily uncommon)

until i discovered empty closets and drawers.