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Alimony

i guess i’m just trying to figure out why I have to pay.

i didn’t cheat, i didn’t beat, i didn’t abuse

i didn’t leave..

i did provide support. emotional, financial

love..

woke up one morning to an empty house. it was a sunday (not necessarily uncommon)

until i discovered empty closets and drawers.

devastated

 

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Presidential Election 2016

what a mess..

I’ve not personally dealt with either candidate. Never seen them up close. Not seen the look in their eye, translated their charisma or felt the embodiment of their spirit.

Without close personal contact, it’s hard to form an accurate assessment (at least for me).

There is documentation.

What would it look like, two columns, pros/cons. 

Positive things they’ve done, negative things they’ve done.

Positive things they’ve said, negative things they’ve said.

How would that stack?

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A Comedian’s Take

Jay Leno said something on KFI today that resonated, and I’m paraphrasing:

“Every guy should get the crap beat out of him, at least one time in his life. Like John McCain said ‘torture doesn’t work.’ John McCain was tortured for 5 years. He coulda come home after two years, if he had turned on his friends or said something treasonous, but he didn’t. He stayed another 3 or 4 years. Okay, if he says torture doesn’t work,  I’m going to believe him. I’m not going to believe a kid who went to prep school, whose dad gave him a million dollars. Y’know, like I said, my dad was a prize fighter. And I was not a very good fighter, but I meet successful guys all the time, who have never been mugged, never been in a fight, but they just think they’re the toughest guys in the world. They just think they can take anybody. But when you see that fist come down, and pound your head in the ground, you think, maybe there’s a better way.”

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Vulgar – 2016

Marco Rubio is absolutely correct.

The best term to use in regard to Drumpf is ‘vulgar’.

Hate to admit it, but I am dumb-founded at Drumpf’s popularity.

 

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Trumped Up

Kudos to Donald Trump

Like Sarah Palin before him, he’s getting the GOP fired up. The media won’t leave him alone. Enigmatic, bombastic, (choose your adjective), but newsworthy (at least in today’s subjective news environment).

News has always been about ‘if it bleeds it leads’. Sensationalism sells papers, prime-time, whatever. Just kind of bummed that it’s so hard to find an objective news source.

Clearly, owners of major media outlets lean.

A lie told often enough becomes the truth.

-Vladmir Lenin

Trump is a study in 2016 politics.

Louis Farrakhan said

“Mr. Trump is tearing away the skin of the onion of white civility and the more he pulls the skin of that onion back, he’s beginning to show something in the character of the whites that follow him, that they don’t care what he says.”

Absolutely true.

I’m white (although with any luck, more beige in summer). I see it.

I heard the racist jokes, euphemisms, mind-set, growing up. Because I looked a certain way.

The white-folk trusted me.

I grew up in a color blind house.

My parents were jazz musicians and people in my house were judged on the level of their talent. period.

I wasn’t aware that I was supposed to hate black people until 1st grade.

By then it was too late.

I already knew if you’re human, you’re human, duh..

 

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It’s a shame

Can’t figure out why people I know, love and respect aren’t doing their homework

Suppose it’s an age trap thing

We get older and frailer, accompanied by a tad more fear, i surmise, i assume..(i see my hands shaking a little more, but ignore. )

i hear/see them espouse ideals RE: the ‘Good ole days’

dude, dudettes..

The good ole days weren’t necessarily that good.

Yes, you were younger and may have been stronger (sneaky internal smiles about shit you did, saw, experienced).

cool

But at some point you got lazy.

Latched on to the bits that appealed to you (whether they were true or not), because they made you feel better.

Lost the fight to face the uncomfortable.

It’s a shame

 

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2016 | Where Am I?

appears I approach myself once a year.

Male/USCitizen/Caucasian/Over54(#damn-didn’t-think-i’d-make-it-this-far)(didn’t really want to)(dad didn’t)

really like my job (and the people that are a part of it)

hmmm….

dad died (92), divorced (10), mom died (12)

still spin

in the room when dad passed

tried cpr (didn’t work, it was cancer after all, silly me)

watched mom take useless breaths over days, damn she fought

we missed it by a few hours, she waited for us to leave before she left.

still angry about the DIVORCE

still angry

still angry

still angry

still angry

still angry

probably could write that incessantly, maybe have, have

miss my son.

I have better kids than you. period.

let me be clear..my kids are better than your kids. period.

chronologically:carena,kiah,hans

proud doesn’t begin…

tears…

I’m sure your kids are great too. Sorry.

(still not as talented, creative, intelligent as mine.)

we can argue that over an 18 year-old Maccallen, I’ll buy.

 

 

 

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Hello 2015

Yeah, I know it’s a day late. Had to work today, plus my girlfriend was giving me shit..

didn’t realize she was such a control freak until I started living with her…always the case right?

Don’t get me wrong, she’s lovely..

But there are times when she’s “General Becky”

Doling out orders in a military tone, emotionally escalating to rage… 

Not sure why, have some ideas, but she doesn’t want to talk to me about that.

But then, we all have our own eccentricities, self-perceived failings and crosses to bear.

The trick is owning them…

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Goodbye 2014

Ambivalent.

A lot happened … it just didn’t feel like much.

No strong feelings either way.

Glad to see it go, not glad…whatever.

What I’d really like is to have a burger with my son.  That would make any ‘time’ special. To have a conversation, to see his smile, hear his laugh, listen to his opinions.

[connect]

thatwouldbecool

 

 

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Steve Jobs and Flash

I never met the man, so I can’t say with any authority why, but clearly Mr. Jobs was not a fan of Flash.

Adobe Flash (the engine that brought us many very cool animation tools.)

Maybe if Macromedia had not been gobbled up by Adobe, it would still be cool…maybe not.

Paraphrasing – Flash heats up our cpu’s…..too much.

That’s why iPhones, iPads don’t support Flash.